Top 30+ Funny America Quotes

funny american quotes

Do you know there are too many names of the US that are used in the whole world to represent the 50 states of the US? But America and also being American is higher than any other thing for all people.

This is because the culture of America is spread all over the world. From the time of war till now the time of movies, the internet, and literature the culture of everything has been accessible to the whole world.

Just because of America, now the level of media and its consumption has increased too much.

However, the most important day of America is Independence day. On that day people of America will celebrate all the things about America.

The 4th of July is the Independence day of America. The main motive of this day is to provide an opportunity to people of America to come outside with their family members and friends to celebrate Independence day with other people.

Because of all these things we have collected funny American quotes that will make you laugh and motivate you to celebrate the culture and history of America.

While all these quotes are not only for independence day, you can learn different things about America with the help of these quotes including its culture, different traditions, its history, and many other things.

It doesn’t matter from where you are, we guarantee that you will love all these quotes. If you are searching for the best quotes about America and about its history then you are in the right place.

Here you will find too many quotes that will help you love America and its culture. If you have any queries, then don’t hesitate to ask us in the comments.

Funny America Quotes

very funny american quotes

Makeup’s just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh … well, until you killed them all, I suppose.

America is like the really bad flatmate of the world: ‘Oh sorry, did I break all your shit? I d’n’t know it was yours. Yeah, I’ll replace it sometime… with my stuff.’

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.

In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.

We Americans, we’re a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we’ll bomb your cities.

Sorry – Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone’s getting hurt.

I went to Zimbabwe. I know how white people feel in America now; relaxed! Cause when I heard the police car I knew they weren’t coming after me!

Only In America Funny Sayings

Only In America Funny Sayings

Only in America can you find so many angry people claiming to love their country, while hating almost anyone in it.

Only in america will you see people circling the parking lot looking for a close space at a gym.

Only in America could a Don King happen.

Only in America can a Barack Obama happen. Only in America can a Don King happen.

Only in America… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Best 40+ Funny Grandfather Quotes

Only in America… do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke!

Only in America… do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America… do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America… do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America… do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning “many” and “tics” meaning “bloodsucking creatures.”

Funny Quotes From The Office

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.

The worst thing about prison was the dementors.

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.

Today, smoking is going to save live

Short Funny Quotes

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy. Sometimes 4. I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

My goal this weekend is to move… just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.

Funny Quotes And Sayings

I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

You may read this also:  50+ Funny brain quotes and sayings

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.