70+ Funny Bald quotes

Could it be said that you are a bald man or going bald, and feel like all expectation is lost? Dread not! These bald quotes will stay cheerful and ensure you continue to kick ass as a bald man.

Being a bald man has its extreme minutes. Be that as it may, when you venture out into shaving your head and accepting your new look, that multitude of horrendous sentiments right away go way. So assuming that you are an individual bald man, try to save a couple of these funny bald quotes.

You can even share these funny bald quotes with a few friends!

You may also like: 70+ Funny flood Quotes

Funny Bald quotes

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough. Larry David

I cannot believe how fine I am with being bald. Robin Roberts

I’m an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I was in my early 30’s. Most of the people who wrote that who thought they were younger than me are now bald and wrinkled. Jack Nicholson

Women in my focus groups, they say a bald man is trustworthy. He has nothing to hide. Kellyanne Conway

Bald is the new black! Gail Porter

The bald look intimidates people. Short and nasty. Reggie Miller

You don’t find me too bald, do you? Old and bald, and with a belly? Julio Iglesias

I’ve been going bald since I was about 17. I’m still hanging on to my hair for dear life, but I do sometimes wonder – should I get a wig? Ben Miller

I collect hats. That’s what you do when you’re bald. James Taylor

Tires were so bald on the truck that the air was showing’ through, and I had to drive fifty miles an hour all the way out there, because the vibration was so bad. Chris LeDoux

See, I was fine being bald, because I have a good-shaped head. Brian Urlacher

Our trademark asymmetrical hairstyle came about by accident. My sister was trying to get her beautician’s license, and I was her guinea pig. She permed my hair and didn’t wash out one of the sides properly, so the whole right side of my hair was eaten out. After she washed it, I was half bald. Pepa

Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur. Matthew Arnold

When I am stressed I pluck my beard, leaving bald patches. Ralph Ineson

Basically, they had asked me if I would shave my head or wear a bald cap. I said look, if you are doing a series for five years I would want to shave my hair because I would go bald with all the gum and glue from the bald cap. Persis Khambatta

I’m real critical of myself and if I take the bandana off my head I’m completely bald headed and go from being 58 to looking 68 instantly. Hulk Hogan

I have the vanity to think that every play I have written is different from the previous ones. Yet, even though they are written in a different way, they all deal with the same themes, the same preoccupations. ‘Exit the King’ is also ‘The Bald Soprano.’ Eugene Ionesco If I am offered a character that demands me to go bald, I would definitely give it a thought. I love my hair, but if the script is that brilliant I would take up such roles. Padmapriya Janakiraman

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they’ve got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that’s malnutrition, too. Dick Gregory

I’m tall, fat, rather bald, red-faced, double-chinned, and black-haired, have a deep voice, and wear glasses for reading. C. S. Lewis

Most good roles are written for young men. We are fixated on youth. So however much people say there is nothing wrong with being bald, the reality is once the hair is gone, you might not get the parts. Ian Hart

The right moment wears a full head of hair: when it has been missed, you can’t get it back; it’s bald in the back of the head and never turns around. Francois Rabelais

I’m not built to have a bald head. I’ve got a huge sniffer.

Quotes about Bald women:

Basically, they had asked me if I would shave my head or wear a bald cap. I said look, if you are doing a series for five years I would want to shave my hair because I would go bald with all the gum and glue from the bald cap.

Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur.

You don’t find me too bald, do you? Old, and bald, and with a belly?

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

bald head hoes, I see some bald head hoes. Erry where I go I see some bald head hoes.

It is not the intelligent woman v. the ignorant woman; nor the white woman v. the black, the brown, and the red, it is not even the cause of woman v. man. Nay, tis woman’s strongest vindication for speaking that the world needs to hear her voice.

If I ever go bald, I’ll kill myself.

The modern woman is the curse of the universe. A disaster, that’s what. She thinks that before her arrival on the scene no woman ever did anything worthwhile before, no woman was ever liberated until her time, no woman really ever amounted to anything.

We’re all born bald, baby.

I’m going bald. I’m having a major problem with it.

Kakarott! Im going to kill you, your son and that bald guy!

There’s always an airport and there’s always a bald, angry man.

Besides, a bald cap would have never looked real.

I don’t consider myself bald, I’m just taller than my hair.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

So much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes. -Phil

Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

Quotes about Bald men:

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough

I’m not going bald. I’m just getting more head

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover up

There is one thing about baldness: It’s neat

The good thing about baldness is that you can style your head with a damp cloth

Women love a self-confident bald man

I cannot believe how fine I am with being bald

With a body like this, who needs hair?

The bald look intimidates people. Short and nasty

. I’m not bald. I’m just taller than my hair

A muffin is a bald cupcake

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush

Anyone who looks good with a bald head is seriously sexy

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him

Hair loss is a good way of telling me I’m human

Bald is the new black!

Combovers are for losers. Embrace the baldness, and become a badass bald man

I’m too sexy for my hair. That’s why it ain’t there!

I may have lost my hair. But I have not lost my inner badass

Being bald quotes:

He Makes fuzz come out of my bald patch. Charles Lindbergh

I’d rather be bald than be labeled a cheat.  Zach Lund

He’s the kind of guy that when he dies, he’s going up to heaven and give God a bad time for making him bald. Marlon Brando on.  Frank Sinatra

There is more felicity on the far side of baldness than young men can possibly imagine.

You can not pick a bald chicken. Dutch Proverb

Almost all of us are bald. Steve Fries

A Bad hair cuts is two peoples shame . Danish Proverb

There’s no question about it – hair-loss syndrome is still a problem. Doug Cottam

I like to call it ‘active hair losses indeed of ‘passive hair loss’. Todd Greene

I think men are allowed to be fat and bald and ugly and women aren’t… and it’s just not – there is no equality there. Connie Chung

You don’t find me too bald, do you? Old, and bald, and with a belly? Julio Iglesias

I’m going bald…..I’m having a major problem with it. Gedde Watanabe

Have you noticed how most directors are either bald or grey-haired? Mackenzie Astin

The tenderest spot in a man’s make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. Helen Rowland

God, I’m just a fat bald guy, 60 years old, singing the blues, you know? Joe Cocker

It’s not the hair on your head that matters. It’s the kind of hair you have inside. Garry Shandling

Women love a self-confident bald man. Larry David

By common consent grey hairs are a crown of glory; the only object of respect that can never excite envy. George Bancroft

The good lord only gave men so many hormones, and if others want to waste theirs growing hair that’s up to them.

Anyone who looks good with a bald head is seriously sexy .Richelle E. Goodrich

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept failing out. Jay London

Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good colour for flowers. Fran Lebowitz

What’s the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder… From the television show Civil Wars

Gorgeous hair is the best revenge. Ivana Trump

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut. Warren Buffett

It is better to be beautiful than to be good…. but it is better to be good than to be ugly. Oscar Wilde

Beauty draws us with a single hair Alexander Pope

A fine head of hair adds beauty to a good face and terror to an ugly one. Lycurgus

I’m still bald, I just wear a toupee. Jason Alexander

You do not lament the loss of hair of one who has been beheaded Joesph Stalin

Some of the worst mistakes in my life were haircuts Jim Morrison

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot. Elayne Boosler

Fortunately, it doesn’t seem to have made a lot of difference to my audience that i’m as bald as a billiard ball. James Taylor

 

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