100+ Amazing Funny first date quotes

Life is not the same without humor. At whatever point we express our affection to someone, we don’t always have to look so genuine. At the point when you blend your words and actions in with a little humor, your cherished one will find your moments together more memorable and special. Throwing funny and adorable words of affection to your partner gives a totally different meaning to your relationship. It makes both of you feel more comfortable with each other, subsequently, making the relationship last. No one wants to fall short of words, humor, affection or even romance in a relationship. This article gives you the best funny first date quotes to share with your partner out on the town or when you are simply chilling out and perceive how they will grin and laugh to this funny dating me is like quotes and other funny dating quotes.

Dating me is like quotes that cut across the entire dating world assuming you are out there dating to get a potential relationship that is long haul. On the off chance that you are looking for another companion or barely out there having a happy time and dating just for a short time, this article gives you the best dating me is like quotes to travel you in these valuable moments. Being funny is usually a decent way to dazzle a potential date. Humor eases up the temperament of first contact that many individuals find awkward. Humor is often used to portray some not ideal dating associations.

We have compiled funny first date quotes, Short dating quotes, Courtship quotes, Funny Dating me is like quotes, Funny relationship quotes, Romantic date quotes, funny love quotes for you.

You may also like: 70+ Catchy & romantic love quotes

Funny first date quotes

I asked this one girl out, and she said, You got a friend? I said yes. She said, Then go out with him. – Don Irreva

I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. – Rodney Dangerfield

Dating is where you pretend you’re someone you’re not to impress someone you don’t know. – Monica Piper

I was on a date with this hot model. Well, it wasn’t a ‘date’ date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed. – Dave Attell

Give your relationship attention like you would a plant. You have to water it every day and give it sunshine. So put your man out

There is nothing strictly immortal, but immortality. Whatever hath no beginning may be confident of no end. – Author: Thomas Browne.

I’m the one who’s dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I’m probably not the first person on their list – the weird, quirky, funny girl. – Author: Whitney Cummings

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox. – Author: Anthony Jeselnik

All he’d done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up.

This had to be the absolute worst first date of her life. – Author: Tara Janzen

My mother learned that she was carrying me at about the same time the Second World War was declared; with the family talent for magic realism, she once told me she had been to the doctor’s on the very day. – Author: Angela Carter

Damn them for tormenting me! Don’t they see I’m not what they think? That they are casting upon me the weight of their own hopes? Their own dreams? No one should be asked to carry such a burden. It’s impossible! He – Author: Ian C. Esslemont

No bikinis on a first date. He nods. I’m sure that’s a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway. – Author: Huntley Fitzpatrick

Someone has pointed out that I is the center of S-I-N. It is the medium through which Satan acts. And so the worst enemy you have to overcome, after all, is yourself. When – Author: D.L. Moody

All theory, my friend, is grey, But green is life’s glad golden tree. – Author: Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Short dating quotes

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. – Jenny McCarthy

I date older men, and I date younger men. I have no rules about that. – Mary Frann

Dating is a battleground filled with deception and infidelity. – Andrew S. Trees

I’m not great at dating, but I need to do it to relax. – Lena Dunham

Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people. – Henry Cloud

An online dating site for really old people called Carbon Dating. – Kelkulus

Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as taking, you are not getting it. – Henry Cloud

I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. – Wendy Liebman

Dating should be less about matching outward circumstances than meeting your inner necessity. – Mark Amend

Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people. – Douglas Coupland

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night? – Jerry Seinfeld

I love being a single mom. But it’s definitely different when you’re dating. – Brooke Burns

A kiss that is never tasted, is forever and ever wasted. – Billie Holiday

Courtship quotes

So much of courtship is the unspoken. Megan Mccafferty

Courtship brings out the best. Marriage brings out the rest. Cullen Hightower

Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. William Congreve

The only thing a whirlwind courtship does is blow dust in everyone’s eyes. Jilly

This is courtship all the world over – the man all tongue; the woman all ears. Emily Murphy

Courtship is driven by hormones; marriage is sustained by humility and self-sacrifice

You must not contrast too strongly the hours of courtship with the years of possession. Benjamin Disraeli

Courtship is the time for sowing those seeds which will grow up ten years into domestic hatred. S. Lewis

Courtship consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to be understood. Laurence Sterne

If most of your courtship attempts have succeeded, you must be a very attractive and charming person who has been aiming too low. Geoffrey Miller

Every man in the time of courtship and in the first entrance of marriage, puts on a behavior like my correspondent’s holiday suit. Joseph Addison

Courtship is exciting and romantic because it thrives on the edge of disaster. It co-exists with the threat that, at any moment, it could fall apart and be lost forever. Karen Scalf Linamen

It’s true that romance novels do detail the courtship phase of a relationship. We usually write ‘And they lived happily ever after’ before our heroine starts snoring or our hero starts tossing his socks over the hamper. Teresa Medeiros

Courtship is romantic. Marriage … is an act of will, said Pippa, taking a sip of water. I mean, I adore Herb. But the marriage functions because we will it to. If you leave love to hold everything together, you can forget it. Rebecca Miller

Funny Dating me is like quotes

I needed to know about life, so I went ahead and started dating older men, a perfect decision they have been in the school of life for more years than me.

I always want a perfect relationship, so I will start by giving my partner my work schedule, then he can figure out when I am available for him.

If you want to date me, you must first understand that where I come from, falling in love and being in a relationship are two different things.

I don’t know about you, but I compare dating a man as a punishment to myself; I am ashamed and disappointed. In fact, it’s just a nightmare.

My boyfriend has taken my best friend, let him know he will always buy for two.

I am dating two boyfriends at the same time, and because I am always changing my mind, I will add a girlfriend to that list.

For the records, I have so many boyfriends, every country I have visited, I have one or two boyfriends, and I have kissed all of them.

I always create a show when my boyfriend breaks up with me. I cry in my friend’s presence so that they won’t consider dating him.

It is a huge responsibility to date me because I come with a little bit of baggage.

I have been on so many blind dates that I think I should get a free dog for a reward.

I have changed men too many times, in the name of finding a perfect match from now henceforth, I will only change my lipstick.

Funny online dating quotes

I worry my soul mate is on a different dating site.

I want to be the reason you’re looking at your phone when bump into a shopper.

Based on your dating profile, good grammar is one of the characteristics we share.

Your father must be a boxer, because you’re a real knock out!

I’m always looking for a conversation ice-breaker, but every time I try, I sink like the Titanic.

I bet you don’t remember me, but I’m the one in your dreams.

Your name must actually be Google because you have everything I’ve been searching for.

I’ll make you a deal. If you don’t like my kiss, you can return it to me.

I bet you didn’t know that the spaces between your fingers were created so I can slip my fingers in there.

You must be a murderer, because your looks just killed me.

Excuse me a sec, I have to call 911 because my heart just stopped when you texted me.

I can now tell my mom that I’ve actually talked with an angel.

You are a thief because you just stole my heart.

You can call me Genie, and I’ll make all your dreams come true.

I’m a magician and work with numbers. Give me your number and I’ll show how I work the magic.

Funny relationship quotes

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

I can’t make you love me. But I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.

Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.

It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

The only true love is love at first sight; second sight dispels it.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

True love is singing karaoke Under Pressure and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.

If you text I love you to a person and the person writes back an emoji †no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

There’s no easy way to break off any relationship. It’s like the mozzarella cheese on a good slice of pizza. No matter how far you pull the slice away from your mouth it just gets thinner and longer but never

Romantic date quotes

If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon. Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever

All of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges; all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me. I’ll give my all to you.

So I can kiss you anytime I want

It’s always better when we’re together.

Now you’re my whole life. Now you’re my whole world… We’ll look back someday, at this moment that we’re in and I’ll look at you and say, ‘and I thought I loved you then.

You know it’s true. Everything I do, I do it for you.

I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life; because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.

You’re every minute of my every day… Whatever comes our way, we’ll see it through. And you know that’s what our love can do

The more I see you, the more I want you. Somehow this feeling just grows and grows. With every sigh, I become more mad about you.

I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.

You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.

I won’t hesitate. No more, no more. It cannot wait, I’m yours.

Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.

It was a million tiny little things like that. When you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together.

I cross my heart and promise to give all I’ve got to give to make all your dreams come true. In all the world, you’ll never find a love as true as mine. Let’s just fall in love again.

Our love is like the wind. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.

You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.

It’s like, in that moment the whole universe existed just to bring us together.

I keep you with me in my heart. You make it easier when life gets hard. Lucky I’m in love with my best friend.

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to make you feel my love.

And she became his wife, and he loved her.

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to make you feel my love

After all… I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.


My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fetchner

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Love is sharing your popcorn. – Charles Schultz

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. – English Proverb

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. – Judith Viorst

I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. – Chico Marx

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. – Spanish Proverb

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. – Ring Lardner

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. –  Jean Kerr

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. – Fran Lebowitz

Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.

Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. – Phyllis Schlafly

Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner

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