100 + Most Amazing Joe Dirt Quotes

Enjoy these hilarious Joe Dirt Quotes! Because he is ready to keep trying, Joe has been on more experiences than most of us will ever have. Joe Dirt’s strength is that he refuses to be defeated by negativity, no matter what has occurred to him.

Despite its bad reviews, the film Joe Dirt seems to have captured the hearts of many. You may get some insight into Joe Dirt Quotes by scrolling down this page and finding the phrases yourself.

Life’s a garden, dig it.

And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.

My name is Joe Dirt, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.

Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.

Things are going to happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.

When bad pets go bad, dang.

Keep on, keeping on

If my calculations are correct, this will create ice… oh no, killer mustard gas!

Now, this isn’t any flapjack. I’ll go real easy. I won’t look.

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You can’t have no in your heart. No is not an option, brother.

Here on earth, we call this place a ‘town.’ A ‘town’ is a place where everyone hates you.

Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

Life is too short to waste doing nothing, make every day count because we all don’t know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones and never regret anything in life, because everything happens for a reason. Look at every day and smile that God has kept you alive, cause there’s nothing sweeter than life.

Things get the darkest before dawn.

Funny Joe Dirt Quotes

Funny Joe Dirt Quotes

He’ll stop humping as soon as he’s done.

And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and checking out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?’

There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.

So, what you’re telling me, is that you’re so ingrained with White Trash, that your facial hair just grows in all white trashy like that?

What’s the deal with your hair? Are you doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?

I got the poo on me!

You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? Boom. Get her to sew that!

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It’s like the cartoons, I’m seeing all tweet tweets.

Might as well ask why is a tree good? Why’s a sunset good? Why are boobs good?

His name’s Rocky and he ain’t no puppy.

Won’t kill you.

Why don’t you practice falling down, I’ll be there in a minute.

Well, that might be your problem. It’s not what you like. It’s the consumer.

Ma’am, you should never drink the bong water.

All aberration radio, all the time.

Joe Dirt quotes about the moon

He has lost his family, his work, and much more, yet he is a nice buddy who is continually pursuing his ambition. Finally, his true friends come through for him and demonstrate what true family is.

Joe Dirt quotes about the moon

Well say it, don’t spray it brother, Dang!

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Look at him, fellas! You crying boy? You crying boy?! Maybe go back down to McDonald’s, get you some hamburgers and some French cries!

I’m a rocker through and through. Here’s a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard.

Well, I didn’t know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it’s not my fault. And she’s one of the hottest girls on the planet.

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Well, it ain’t a meteor.

Well, lookey here. Corn off the cob.

Watch the guns baby, that’s how I get the gals.

Hey! If you want to impress me, get a mullet hairstyle.

Do you see that moon? You don’t know how many nights I spent alone staring at that moon wondering if, at that exact moment, my mom or my dad was looking at the same moon. And for that brief second, we were together again, kind of, you know?

Joe Dirt Inspirational Quotes

Joe Dirt is a film about a character who has been knocked down by life and repeatedly kicked while down.


Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a few of my brains were showing and it was grossing everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up, and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you…

To tell you the truth, brother, between you and me. The thing with the dog is coming off a little fruity. That’s just me talking.

So you going to tell me that you don’t have any black cats, no roman candles, or screaming Mimis?

Oh, come on man. You got no lady’s fingers, fuzz battles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip pity do das, or crap flappers?

You’re going to stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don’t have any whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donuts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?

But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?

Your nuts are frozen to the porch. Oh, that sucks.

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They’re large and in charge, and they’re looking for chickies.

Like them spinning tires, do ya?

You guys got something to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mike right here. Check one-two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working’, and guess what? They don’t like any feedback, what’s up?

It puts the lotion on its skin. Now!

If you’re driving a Mopar, you probably look like him.

Lose that frown. When you’re down, stare at a clown.

No, afraid not. That’s just a big ol’ frozen chunk of poopy.

[Getting humped by a dog] can I push him off of me?

Joe Dirt Life Quotes

Joe Dirt, who appears in the films Joe Dirt and Joe Dirt 2, has a lot of lines to caption. Interestingly, the phrases may sound like slang at times, yet they are really catchy and unique to the character. It may be inconvenient to watch the movie and try to come up with some post-worthy quotes; instead, look for Joe Dirt’s quips in web articles (like this one).

Joe Dirt Life Quotes

You gotta keep on keeping on. Life’s a garden: dig it. You gotta make it work for you.

Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes back?

Luckily, my neck broke my fall.

All’s I got to do is keep bein’ a good person. No matter what, good things’ll come my way. Everything’s gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have ‘No’ in my heart.

Buffalo Bob’s kind of a weird name, but people say Joe Dirt’s a weird name, and how cool am I?

If you’re covered in oil, don’t stand next to a fire.

Home is where you make it.

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No… because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.

You just said your sister’s hot! What a fuh-reak! You’re going to hell, man!

Do you want to fight? Why don’t you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?

Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where’s the good stuff man?

I’m not messing around! I hit it, and it goes bang. Alright? Now while I’m up here waiting you [points to an attractive girl] show me those boobies!

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