Best 100+ Nick Miller Quotes and Sayings from New Girl


The main character of the FOX sitcom New Girl is Nick Miller. His actor is Jake Johnson. Nick is a Chicago bartender who is uninterested, awkward among people, highly caustic, and funny. In purpose to have you with some entertainment while you relax on the weekends, we have created a collection of Nick Miller quotes.

The main character of Nick Miller is not your normal dude. Even worse, he can’t even take care of himself or cook, and he calls himself a “not successful adult.” He is the kind of person who is largely inactive. Despite being unmotivated and grouchy, he is passionate about writing. And even if his writing moves slowly, he still feels proud of himself whenever he completes a piece. Despite being unable to express his own emotions, he has a remarkable capacity to sense others’ feelings. His roommates are Winston, Schmidt, and Jess. The television program “New Girl” was intended to run for six seasons, and much like with other shows, the sixth season didn’t perform up to expectations.

Below is a selection of picks from Nick Miller that you can use for personal use or social media. Are the top Nick Miller quotes whatever you’re searching for? For you, I’ve collected some of the best Nick Miller quotes, sayings, and posts on social media.

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Nick Miller Quotes


Oh, this is terrible—she’s quoting Scripture, but using a ton of cuss words.

I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.

No, I don’t dance. I’m from the town of Footloose.

Are we ever going to get to the point where you stop working on me? Or instead of changing me, maybe once Jess sees it my way.

Just drive the car. I gotta tell my girlfriend that I don’t love her so she doesn’t leave me.

I believe horses are from outer space.

That’s the only thing in the world I know to be true.

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She’s not quirky. She has no bangs.

He lost five pounds, he gained confidence with women, and he saw the movie, ‘Multiplicity 25 times.

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, a summer’s day is not a bitch!

I’ve never been an inspiration before…I don’t like this much responsibility.

When I work out, which isn’t often, I listen to Huey Lewis because it pumps me up.

I refuse to pay for welfare.

Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.

The sky’s too fickle. It’s a play-place for butterflies.

Nick Miller Quotes on Love


I fell in love with Jess the minute she walked through the door.

I’m fighting the Urge to Buy You a Lobster Dinner Right Now.

Jessica Night Is the Whole Reason Pepperwood Gets out Of Bed every day!

I’ve had the Time of My Life…

Even When I Don’t Want You There, You’re there. That’s What A Husband Does… You’re A Great Husband to Me.

I look very handsome. I look like I’m on Miami Vice.

It’s like a plant. It needs sun and air.

Sponges make me feel exhilarated.

The eyeball fell off, that’s how you know it’s good!

Looks like a puppet, like something an Italian whittled.

Guys, please let me hate myself and everything that I have created.

It’s not a perfect system Jess, but it’s mine okay? And it’s private.

I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack, and I haven’t arranged for anyone to clear my browser history. I wasn’t building a bomb, I was just curious.

When you put it like that, it sounds amazing and like a prison.

No part of this conversation is making me wanna boil over with rage.

I’ve never been an inspiration before. I don’t like this much responsibility.

I feel like you’re not meaning to say what you’re saying.

New Girl Quotes


Because people are the worst.

Sometimes I think I’m just a riddle that I can’t even solve.

You’re a plant killer, and I write songs. We’re weirdos, but that’s who we are.

Look, it’s food. I love food.

I want to sit at that desk and veto a law.

I’m the best with pranks. They call me Prank Sinatra!

For the first time in my life, I’m not 100% broke.

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Look at that font! What is this? Amateur hour? At least use Palatino.

I’ve never been an inspiration before. I don’t like this much responsibility.

Blast from the past, how’s that ass?

I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!

You guys are ruling women out based on their breast size? It’s the least important part of a woman’s body! Unless you’re a baby. Are you guys babies?

Nick doesn’t have a life plan. He doesn’t have a day plan. I once found a note that he wrote to himself that said, put on pants.

Nick isn’t even a man. He’s some kind of man-boy, man-child hybrid. The other day I had to tell him not to pull a dog’s tail.

I’m probably fine. But I also might be dead.

Schmidt Quotes


If you are for one second suggesting that I don’t know how to open a musical, how dare you!

Can we just take a minute to celebrate me?

Is it bad that I enjoyed Winston and Cece’s EDM song?

Dammit! I can’t find my driving moccasins anywhere.

That has gotta be a record.

Don’t pretend to know my pain.

Old people freak me out. With their hands and their legs. They’re like the people’s version of pleated pants.

I love mango chutney… any type of chutney.

Can someone please get my towel? It’s in my room next to my Irish walking cape.

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It’s a horrible neighborhood. There are Youths either.

Pine has no place here

I’m like a Hebrew cheetah.

Why can’t I have the things that I want?!

It’s the freak-in’ weekend.

You like me? Do you like my personality?

Life sucks! And then it gets better, and then it sucks again.

I like your hat. I like how it’s not a team or a logo – it’s just blue.

Drinking to forget? That’s my sweet spot!

I want to go into my room and do weird stuff on my computer.

I don’t believe dinosaurs existed. I’ve seen the science. I don’t believe it.

Nick Miller Funny Quotes


Sometimes, up close, art is ugly.

I’m just telling her what kind of cake to bake me, son.

Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself in any way.

I don’t know if Hogwarts is near San Diego. I’ve never heard of it.

Men of means.

ly not. No! I don’t trust fish. They breathe water. That’s crazy.

I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.’

I want to go into my room and do weird stuff on my computer.

Look at those horny hippos.

Writers don’t read. We write.

I’m not putting on the kimono. It legitimizes you owning it.

Hey! If I cooked up a whole chicken, would you guys have some?

I once tried on my girl cousin’s wool tights and I didn’t hate how it felt.

Oh, hey, ladies, you guys want to see a grown man cry?

Nick Miller Quotes To Jess


I Realized Something. I’d Do Anything For You, Jess.

I Can’t Move On. I Love Him.

There’s Nothing That You Could Do That Would Make Me Love You Any Less.

There’s Something About Him…I See Him And My Heart Explodes.

I Fell In Love With Jess The Moment She Walked Through The Door.

It’s You And Me. It’s Always Been You And Me.

She’s Got That Giant Heart That’s Part-Compass And Part-Flashlight And She Is Just The Greatest Person I Have Ever Met.

Oh, Come On. Please Go Faster! I Gotta Tell My Best Friend I’m In Love With Her!

I only wanna make a drink a coal miner would want. Straight forward. Honest. Something that says, ‘I work in a hole.’

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I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.

What is money anyway? It’s just paper that some king on a mountain said was worth something. Gold I understand, it’s shiny.

Look, we’re not trying to be mean. We just don’t want you to be yourself… in any way.

I need to eat my way out of a sandwich house.

You’re a terrible person. It’s hilarious.

You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound by drinking alcohol.

I don’t deal with exes. They’re part of the past. You burn them swiftly and give their ashes to Poseidon.

Nike Miller Quotes About Self-Awareness


I need to eat my way out of a sandwich house.

I’m gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you.

Make up an excuse and get out of jury duty. Jess, please, I need you.

That’s hot to me. You add some sweatpants to that and that is better than porn.

I hate doors!

No, we’re adult men. We’re cute.

Trust me, I’m wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing.

I’m perfectly fine watching TV all day.

I’m a very good secretary.

On the plus side, I’m being very witty during this fight.

I don’t want a refund on my cruise and I don’t want a refund on you!

You’re a whiskey girl, like me.

You’re a big girl, you can watch Walking Dead alone.

Of course we make decisions. How do you think I’m wearing clothes right now?

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