Famous 100+ Stoner Quotes and Sayings

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These stoner quotes will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

These sayings will remind you that it’s always 4:20 someplace, whether you’re smoking a bowl after a hard day, having a sesh with some buddies, or perusing the dispensary for a nug.

We’ve got you beat with these sayings, which range from the perfect Instagram posts for showing off your new pipe to famous movie quotations about cannabis.

If you’re a stoner, sit back, relax, smoke a blunt, and enjoy our collection of great stoner quotes.

Every night is the perfect night to smoke weed.

Don’t worry. Don’t cry. Smoke weed and get high.

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit… unnatural? — Bill Hicks

Whatever I do, I do it better stoned.

A friend with weed is a friend indeed, and a friend who shares is a friend who cares.

‎Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see. — Thomas Jefferson

Couples who blaze together, stay together.

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Don’t kill my high because you’re low.

I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits — and millions of Americans agree with me. — Hunter S. Thompson

If you ever miss 4:20, just wait until 4:22. Because 4:22 is 4:20, too.

The biggest killer on the planet is stress, and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis. — Willie Nelson

You can’t complain when you’ve got Mary Jane.

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. — Bob Marley

Just keep something until everything makes sense or until you fall asleep.

If we all had a bong, we’d all get along.

Alcohol kills. Weed chills.

The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug that helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity, and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world. — Carl Sagan

I don’t think [pot] is more dangerous than alcohol. — Barack Obama

A marijuana high can enhance core human mental abilities. — Sebastian Marincolo

Stoner Quotes for Instagram

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I never joined high school, I joined school high.

A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away.

You either love weed, or you’re wrong.

When in doubt, smoke it out.

It’s CANnabis, not CAN’Tabis.

I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more. – Sublime

Don’t sweat it. Just keep blazing.

My blood type is THC.

I am always high because the universe is so low.

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Of course, I know how to roll a joint. – Martha Stewart

That is not a drug, it’s a leaf. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. – Barack Obama

Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses. – Hugh Hefner

I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer. – James Franco

When you smoke an herb, it reveals you to yourself. – Bob Marley

I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good. Smoking on some shit that you wish you could. – Snoop Dogg

I have used cannabis all over the world. – Rick Steves

If you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s and didn’t do drugs I don’t trust you. – Danny Danko

If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it. — John Lennon

I know you don’t smoke weed, I know this, but I’m gonna get you high today, ’cause it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do. – Friday

If I study high and take the test high, I’ll get HIGH scores! — How High

Hidden Stoner Quotes

People either love or despise marijuana, and there appears to be no middle ground in sight. If you like pot, you’re probably aware that it has a variety of health advantages, including stress and pain reduction. If you aren’t, you’re probably aware that it has several drawbacks, including difficulties making decisions and memory problems. We’re not here to take sides in an age-old conflict.

Hidden Stoner Quotes

Breathe in, hold it, puff out, and grin.

I never joined high school, I joined school high.

A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away.

It has always been said that wealth cannot buy you joy, but it can buy you marijuana and that is just enough.

I am always high because the universe is so low.

The struggle is the opponent but marijuana is the solution.

A friend with the herb is a true friend.

Why drink and drive while you can use pot and soar? If I die today, burn cannabis so you can see my soul fly away.

Stay on top of your enemies who are trying to pull you down.

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Every parent should advise their children not to take drugs, but I tell the children to do it.

When you use marijuana, it helps you know yourself better.

I decide to lean on the natural side of marijuana instead of using 5-6 medications.

Is weed addictive? Yes, just as all pleasurable things in the world are.

Weed constructs a nation, alcohol brings the nation down.

If everyone in the universe used weed, the world would be peaceful for at least two hours.

If you use weed, you live in the present and you are always joyous.

I use weed to get rid of the pain and if I never used weed I would probably go insane – Tupac

I am so high on weed I am not coming down, if you are with me you are not coming down either. Let us draw our initials on the skies and break something down. Make a joint and share it around- Wiz Khalifa.

I would prefer using marijuana every time we take in air, every moment smooch. Do not tell me that you long for me, just come take me.

Does it matter if I use cannabis and do what I want to do? It is better than killing and assaulting somebody. It is a non-violent sign and people have to understand that and move on- Snoop Dogg

Stoner Quotes from Movies

Stoner Quotes from Movies

I’m trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I’m stoned or because I have no blood left in my body. — Pineapple Express

Dude, am I high, or is this working? – Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder. — Cheech and Chong – Up in Smoke

Littering and smoking the reefer. Now to teach you, boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you three smoke the whole bag — Super Troopers

I think people need to be educated about the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong? – Willie Nelson

A friend with weed is a friend indeed…― Pops O’Donnell

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You know what I’m tired of is people getting arrested for the possession of marijuana. It’s just a plant. It makes no sense. – Madeline Martinez

The struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy. – Kid Cudi

I got high and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high. – Ricky Williams

New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my email, and the next thing I know it’s three days later, I’m in the desert, I’m banging on a drum, I’m naked, and somebody’s pierced my dick. — Bill Maher

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit unnatural? — Bill Hicks

It’s me to see marijuana connected with narcotics … dope and all that crap. It’s a thousand times better than whiskey – it’s an assistant – a friend. – Louis Armstrong

Is marijuana addictive? Yes, in the sense that most of the really pleasant things in life are worth endlessly repeating. ― Richard Neville

Marijuana saved my life. I have no doubts about it and you don’t need to show me any data. – Greg Scott

Stop killing each other man. Let’s just smoke a blunt. – Tupac

Writing to me is like hitting the herb. No problems, Mon. No worries.― A.K. Kuykendall

Why do I do it? Because I enjoy its effects. You know, I — why does anybody use any mind-altering substance, you know, because they like the way it makes them feel. – Mark Stepnoski

It makes me feel the way I need to feel. – Snoop Dogg

Funny Quotes and Sayings

Good quotes May properly express feelings or relate to other people’s amazing ideas, therefore it’s no surprise that many stoners utilize amusing sayings and pop culture allusions to convey the delights of being stoned! Whatever your motivation for learning some amusing stoner quotes, everybody who hears you repeating your favorite high sayings will be impressed.

Funny Quotes and Sayings

I don’t have time to hate people who hate weed, cause I’m too busy smoking with people who love weed.

I can’t complain when I’ve got Mary Jane.

A joint a day keeps the doctor away.

I got too busy smoking on my grass to notice if yours was greener.

Keep blazing and stay amazing.

I got high and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high. – Ricky Williams

The struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy – Kid Cudi

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It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned – Bill Lee

It has always been said that wealth cannot buy happiness, but it can buy you marijuana and that is just enough.

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself – Bob Marley

Smoke the marijuana and get high. Stay above the wicked and fly. – Snoop Dogg

I am always high because the universe is so low.

It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned. – Bill Lee

I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits – and millions of Americans agree with me. – Hunter S. Thompson

Many artists and writers have used cannabis for creative stimulation – from the writers of the world’s religious masterpieces to our most irreverent satirists. – Jack Herer

Dangerous like a poisonous serpent biting the weed makes my sight bright like traffic lights-Canibus.

Let your appearance be like that of Barbie, use pot like Marley.