100 + Funny and Interesting Weed Quotes


Sometimes all you need are some solid weed quotes to get you through the day. Granted, marijuana is now one of the most contentious issues in the United States. Marijuana has different levels of legality and prohibition depending on the state you live in.

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit… unnatural? — Bill Hicks

A friend with weed is a friend indeed, and a friend who shares is a friend who cares. — Unknown

‎Some of my finest hours have been spent on my back veranda, smoking hemp and observing as far as my eye can see. — Thomas Jefferson

I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits — and millions of Americans agree with me. — Hunter S. Thompson

If you ever miss 4:20, just wait until 4:22. Because 4:22 is 4:20, too. — Unknown

The biggest killer on the planet is stress, and I still think the best medicine is and always has been cannabis. — Willie Nelson

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Just keep something until everything makes sense or until you fall asleep. — Unknown

The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug that helps produce the serenity and insight, sensitivity, and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world. — Carl Sagan

A marijuana high can enhance core human mental abilities. — Sebastian Marincolo

I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about getting weed is getting caught with it. — Bill Murray

If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it. — John Lennon

Let us burn one from end to end, and pass it over to me, my friend. — Ben Harper

I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more. — Sublime

It puzzles me to see marijuana connected with narcotics… dope and all that crap. It’s a thousand times better than whiskey — it’s an assistant — a friend. — Louis Armstrong

Smoke the marijuana and get high. Stay above the wicked and fly. — Snoop Dogg

Funny Weed Quotes Short


Every night is the perfect night to smoke weed. — Unknown

Don’t worry. Don’t cry. Smoke weed and get high. — Unknown

Whatever I do, I do it better stoned. — Unknown

Couples who blaze together, stay together. — Unknown

Don’t kill my high because you’re low. — Unknown

You can’t complain when you’ve got Mary Jane. — Unknown

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. — Bob Marley

If we all had a bong, we’d all get along. — Unknown

Alcohol kills. Weed chills. — Unknown

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I don’t think [pot] is more dangerous than alcohol. — Barack Obama

The struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy. — Unknown

Don’t judge someone until you have shared a joint with them. — Unknown

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. — Bob Marley

It’s hard to be mean when you’re stoned. — Bill Lee

You either love weed, or you’re wrong. — Unknown

It’s Cannabis, not can’tabis. — Unknown

Breathe in, hold it, puff out, and grin. — Unknown

I never joined high school, I joined school high. — Unknown

A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away. — Unknown

Hidden Stoner Quotes

Do you require a nice laugh? You may be cranky in the mornings and will need to create your happiness as a result. On other days, you may feel enthusiastic when you wake up. Those are the days when the sun shines brightly. Quotes may be useful in everyday life, regardless of how you are feeling. You’ve probably smoked weed/marijuana or lived with someone who did. We all have various perspectives about cannabis. Some of us think of it as a narcotic, while others merely think of it as a plant. There are a lot of cannabis quotations on the internet. Some are upbeat, while others are gloomy.


If somebody gives me a joint, I might smoke it, but I don’t go after it. – John Lennon

Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder. – Cheech and Chong – Up in Smoke

If I study high and take the test high, I’ll get HIGH scores! – How High

I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more. – Sublime

I never joined high school, I joined school high. – Unknown

Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses. – Hugh Hefner

A puff a day keeps the debauched attitude away. – Unknown

Of course, I know how to roll a joint. – Martha Stewart

That is not a drug, it’s a leaf. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer. – James Franco

When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point. – Barack Obama

You either love weed, or you’re wrong. – Unknown

I wake up early in the morning and it feels so good. Smoking on some shit that you wish you could. – Snoop Dogg

Don’t worry. Don’t cry. Smoke weed and get high. — Unknown

I have used cannabis all over the world. – Rick Steves

If you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s and didn’t do drugs I don’t trust you. – Danny Danko

Every night is the perfect night to smoke weed. — Unknown

My blood type is THC. – Unknown

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I am always high because the universe is so low. – Unknown

When you smoke an herb, it reveals you to yourself. – Bob Marley

Weed Quotes for Instagram

You either love weed, or you’re wrong.

All (s) he does is smoke, smoke, smoke.

Thank you, next strain.

When in doubt, smoke it out.

Blaze like a local.

I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints. And then I smoke two more. – Sublime

Relationship status: In love with my bong.

Happy Stoney Sunday / Terpy Tuesday / Weednesday!

Blowing some clouds of [strain] in the air.

Changing the forecast with these clouds.

The more nugs, the merrier

Nugs, not drugs

Why cry when you can smoke?

Don’t sweat it. Just keep blazing.

Roll it up. Smoke it up.

This is how I roll.

Couples who smoke together, stay together

Smoke your heart out!

When I die, bury me with my bong.

Shut up and smoke.

This is what dreams are made of.

Stoner since birth.

I was born with a bong in my hand.

There’s blood in my cannabis stream!

My birthstone is a cannabis seed.

Smoke more, talk less.

Girl Smoking Weed Quotes


I cannot complain when I’ve got Mary Jane.

Smoke like nobody’s watching.

She has fire in her soul, grace in her heart, and smoke in her lungs.

You like me better when I’m high. You just don’t know it.

Not everyone has to like a weed. I can’t force you to have good taste.

Weed is a vibe nobody can replace.

Weed will never cheat on you.

Not everyone likes weed, but not everyone’s opinion matters.

Smoke like a pro.

Should I smoke or should I smoke?

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Do you think weed is awesome or are you wrong?

Does my weed hurt your ears?

Stoned never looked so good.

I only accept apologies in weed.

A joint a day keeps the doctor away.

Highest in the room.

You can find me at the dispensary.

Love me or hate me, either way, I’m going to smoke.

I’m not a short stoner. I’m concentrated THC!

My happy place is the dispensary.

Famous Weed Quotes

The world may be a very dirty and difficult place at times. We could all need a good chuckle now and then, especially when we’re with our closest friends. It’s much more fun if you indulge and exchange excellent marijuana quotes with a pal. Here are a few of the funniest marijuana pals quotes:


Every day is a perfect time to smoke pot. Most of my strongest relationships began with a puff.

You realize that you are a pot addict when your pals bring you a Bob Marley cake.

It is very easy to become a vegetarian than to quit weed because your friends will not show up at your house with a bunch of vegetables.

Some say that pot is a prop, hell yah, props enable people to walk.

Pot can turn foreigners into best of friends.

I do not have to smoke a joint to have a pleasant moment, but I am always hyped when I am high.

I am sorry, my marijuana is so loud I cannot hear your nastiness.

Friends who smoke together can live together in peace.

Get a puff, weed will not judge you. It is quite hilarious that the most perilous thing about marijuana is getting caught in its possession.

The Almighty made weed, human-made beer.

Cannabis is not a drug it is a plant, therefore I am not a drug addict.

I am a farmer. We had a joint last night, got so high that we started searching for our friend while he assisted us to look.

Marijuana is a gift from Mother Nature.

God gave it to us. So take this opportunity and use it.

Take advantage. I do not enjoy mathematics, but when I do, I am usually buying marijuana.

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The person who said that great things are always free must have had a garden full of weeds.

To say that smoking weed is against the law is like implying that God made a mistake.

I smoked weed, got high, and forgot that I was not supposed to get high.

Nothing is more pleasing to the eye than a bag of marijuana. It is difficult to be nasty when you are high.

I beg you not to feed me with your nastiness unless it looks like a bag of cannabis.